Day 1 – Battle of The ‘Mon
And so after all the rain, the injuries, the B2 One Day Trophy farce (Centrals??? What the…???), the somewhat sodden 2007/08 season of crick ambled to its autumnal conclusion and, much to the consternation of John the Bookie, the Piggers were unbackable favourites in their 5th Grand Final appearance, having left the charred wreckage of their season’s dazed opponents scattered behind them.

The script was of course set for a choke that would make an All Blacks squad pale: a Pigs outfit going into the GF to set a record for an undefeated season, a feat potentially never to be repeated. Were mouths dry? Were bowels quivering?

Waiting silently in the shadows were second placers Kirribilli-Crusaders, poised with slavering fangs to sink into the Pigs’ soft, juicy, slightly smoky flavoured hides. Granted they had been unequivocally demolished in the previous 2-day meeting between the sides but, when you’ve got nothing to lose, anything can happen. Just like Ricky on the pokies.

Avoiding the long lines of punters queuing to get into Artarmon Reserve (otherwise known in the international calendar as “The ‘Mon”), the Pigs Grand Final Team assembled for the big event. What GF week is complete without injuries and poor MILF Hunter was a midweek scratching, his hopes of playing as shattered as his finger after his semi-final mishap. Veteran ‘keeper Weedman limped back into the fold after missing the semi with the first sprained ankle in a game of golf since John Daly chased that kid with a double cheeseburger at Augusta.

The patchy ‘Mon outfield undulated before the skippers in that special North Shore via Gallipoli way as they meandered out for the toss and the coin came up heads, Kirribilli skipper Hammerton gleefully ready to put the hammer, um, down by electing to bat first.

To the champagne-fuelled howls of the Pigs’ thronging WAGs, Statto Horley charged in with the new cherry and it was game on. With barely a whimper, the first Kirribilli wicket fell at just 1, Weedman triumphantly pouching the snick – a perfect start to the Piggers. Skipper Hammerton joined Pendlebury and cautiously started the fightback, Whitaker uncharacteristically flat for such a big occasion.

The pair slowly but surely began to build, boldly constructing a commendable base, even as the ball pulled up short for 2s in the plush ‘Mon outfield, when a crisp boundary was more deserving. Big Bucky came into the attack and was quickly punished, the Kirribilli pair lashing anything loose. The score ticked past 50 and some Piggers began glancing furtively at skipper Seldon as the enormity of the Kirribilli challenge became apparent.

Into the 70s and the Piggers were getting nervous indeed as a chase of 250+ began to loom. In times of crisis you need a cool head and none come cooler than veteran Pigs inaugurator James Christopher Madden. Having settled into a comfortable backbone role during the season, from square leg he now chose the perfect moment to strike – seizing upon a calamitous mixup in the middle, and calmly firing the ball back to an ecstatic Statto over the stumps – a relieving breakthrough for the Pigs as a commendable skipper’s knock by Hammerton (32) was prematurely ended, Kirribilli 2/72 and a massive turning point in the game. Suddenly, as if in sympathetic guilt, Pendlebury threw his wicket away, spooning a Chewbacca Stewart delivery straight to Adam Ant at cover, 3/73.

And then the great grinding arm wrestle commenced as Wheatley shuffled and scratched about like a chook with ADHD and Geldens, in direct opposition to his natural attacking instincts, tried his absolute best not to paste the ball out of The ‘Mon. Time slowed, the WAGs grew rowdier as the champers flowed and Kirribilli lost all momentum as the game ground to a stalemate – no runs, no wickets. A sensational choke was being applied by Super Furry Stewart and Ice Man Ed – who was going to blink first?

Geldens, like an Impreza with a brick strapped to both the accelerator and the brake, finally popped a piston and succumbed to the slog – only to nick it to Weedman and the great breakthrough was made, 3/83. Wheatley was going nowhere backwards and Whitaker, returning for a much more focused second spell, finally put him out of his misery with a surprise searing bouncer that took gloves and the omnipresent Weedman pouched another screamer, the Pigs howling with joy as they bounded off for tea with Kirribilli 4/92.

With Kirribilli already beginning to choke, the strategy was to keep applying the pressure and first ball after tea from Statto, Ellis gave Weedman his 4th snick and a disastrous collapse loomed at 5/92.

But Green, resplendent with Super Scoop GN, attempted an old-school slogging renaissance of sorts until a lazy punt off the Ice Man saw him coolly snaffled at cover by Adam Ant, ending a promising 30 run partnership and any chance of Kirribilli setting a competitive target. Irving and the rest of the tail followed at least cheaply if not quickly and after 54 overs Kirribilli’s innings was all over for 140, with Whitaker leading the pack again with 3/37 off 16 overs and Statto, Chewie & Ice Man sharing the remainder of the spoils.

An unusually disciplined, tight bowling and fielding effort from the Piggers, especially against one of the better batting sides in the comp…but the job was only half done - greater Pigs in some horror Grand Finals of the past have choked, slowly, painfully, fatally, chasing less…

So with 75mins still left in the day’s play, Deller & the skipper trotted out to face the music. Kirribilli certainly struck the right notes early, with Williams snicking Deller’s glove down the leg side, Piggers 1/8. Semi final centurion Ice Man Quoyle ambled to the crease – another quick wicket and Kirribilli would be doing backflips, cartwheels and handstands. Back in the sheds, big Peller saw Statto padded up: “What the f@ck do you think you’re doing???” the unimpressed big unit intoned. Statto replied “I’m nightwatchman mate!” “Like f@ck you’re batting before me!” said Peller, like a cattle dog guarding his Chum meaty bites. Conversation over.

Ice Man started where he left off in the semi, two scything pull shots crashing into the long boundary. But slowly, cautiously, he and Bargearse pulled down the Roll-A- Door as Kirribilli gagged for another wicket in the golden sunset and at stumps the Piggers had reached a reasonable yet slow 1/37 off 19 overs.

That night at the Great Northern many a cleansing beverage was imbibed, celebrating a great day in the field and cheering the C Grade Pigs who had astonishingly recovered from 5/39 to post 240 off their full 72 over quota. After a million beers, you could just taste special things in the air ahead (or more likely Bucky’s ripping calamari farts).

Day 2 – March of The Pigs
The sun beat down mercilessly for the second day in a row, surely a record for this season of slop. Kirribilli desperately needed to break a flourishing partnership between Ice Man and the skipper but the Pigs were set - they were not going to be dragged to the abattoir in the Grand Final, not this time.

Astonishingly as the day wore on, no fielding pressure was put on the Piggers at all, letting the pair clip runs at their own pace, boundaries hard to come by. Wheatley was introduced to the attack, accurately bowling stump to stump, another patience tester. Ellis’ leggies came on at the other end as further tasty tempting pies but neither Pigger was partaking. On the sideline, MILF was his usual vocal self, pumping up the Piggers and making their opponents dig deep into the Kirribilli Sledging Handbook. Retired Pig Barcs kept the WAGS roaring with “Piggers, Piggers, Piggers, Oink, Oink, Oink” chants adding to the Grand Final atmosphere.

Then, a massive turning point, as O’Donoghue dropped the Grand Final as an absolute floating dolly from the Ice Man hit The ‘Mon turf, much to Wheatley’s eye popping disgust. It was devastating to the Kirribilli contingent and said much about their fielding effort in a Grand Final where every tiniest opportunity had to be taken.

Their frustrations were evident when a couple of screaming LBW appeals against the Ice Man were howled by Ellis, not out. Never mind that Ice Man had hit them both: “F@ckin’ park cricket!” snarled the youngster, obviously still disgusted that he’d lost his lucrative Cricket Australia contract last season.

So the runs clicked on and on, excitement building in the Piggers camp. However, just as it looked like the pair of Piggers would go all the way, the record 112 run 2nd wicket partnership for the season finally ended as Bargearse top-edged an attempted hook for maximum to fine leg and the skipper departed for 42, the finish line temptingly in sight at 2/120. The Wookie cunningly disguised as Nath Stewart wandered in and made it look way too easy after all the previous grinding going on, much to Kirribilli’s despair. A huge shout against him was turned down, a senior Kirribillian pinging his helmet into the turf in disgust – they had nothing left.

And so with all talk and no action, Kirribilli slowly went belly up. Nath carted a short ball through midwicket for four and the Piggers went up as one – their second Premiership emphatically won by 8 wickets, undefeated for the entire season. A great undefeated knock of 62 from Ice Man Ed was the cornerstone and sealed his Man of the Finals Series, winning the orange 1988 Holden Camira onto which the various Pigs climbed and saluted the thronging rapturous stands on a lap of honour.

It was an enormously satisfying victory for all the Pigs, setting an undefeated record and adding another trophy to the cabinet alongside the 2005/06 premiership. Extra special thanks to all WAGS, family, supporters and mates that came down to fire us up during the semi and grand final – it wouldn’t be half as fun or mean as much without you. Thanks also to Kirribilli for their feisty brand of crick, worthy grand finalists. Thanks also to all our other opponents during the season, especially our brethren The Gnomes who outdrank us for the Pignome Boat Race Trophy.

As the sun set on another season and the Piggers prepared to head to Lofberg to cheer on their (soon to be also triumphant) C Grade brothers in an absolute thriller, a senior Kirribilli member was overheard commenting how the Pigs had “stacked” the team since last season’s wooden spoon, obviously with no idea how both Pigs teams exist: always a bunch of great mates first and two cricket teams second. Selection trials? Team stacking? Terms never heard of for the Piggers, and never will be.

As a long night of brain damaging celebrations and painting the town brown commenced the Piggers looked back on an extraordinary summer that simply could not have turned out better. A golden season indeed, the Summer of the Pig, the greatest club of the greatest mates in the world. The celebrations continue…

[by Michael Clear]
And finally, the match the C Grade world had waited for arrived on Saturday afternoon at 1pm and in a tough and close game, where each team won 2 sessions each, the Mighty Pigs finished the stronger to complete a 45 run victory although the result was probably closer than it looked.

Dowdy won the toss and elected to bat sending in two of his rocks in Palmer and Ward to tire out the Wanderers bowlers in the season unprecedented heat conditions. Without setting the score board on fire, they did their jobs, as did Pete Williams (not since the battle of Brussels..............), Piersey and Matthew Tenney, but, at 5 for 39, off about that many overs, the Wanderers heads were up. Dowdy and Jeff scrambled through to tea and the game sat tentatively at 5 for 45. What we knew however was that the form batsmen were to come and also that runs don’t win grand finals – 120 would be solid, 150 defendable, 180 winable. Three 50+ partnerships followed, with Jeffrey scoring 36, Liam 8 (yes, in a 50 run partnership) and Faiz 24 (celebrating his promotion up to number 9), and the mighty captain standing tall (well not standing really – he had a runner if that is what you call Jeffrey) on 123 (including 6 huge sixes) and by the end of the 72nd, the Pigs compulsorily declared at 240 runs - a mighty score and a big chase for the Wanderers.

Day 2 saw Pete Marshall and JK opening the batting. The Pigs knew they were only 2 or 3 wickets away from putting the pressure right on the Wanderers as the Wanderers top 3 was their main strength. By tea and oranges, it was 2 for 115 (Faiz and Matty P sharing the spoils) and Wanderers noses and half their bodies were in front, nails were in coffin, fat lady was completing final gargle and so on and so on. It was time to put in place Plan A (Plan A was operational pre-tea, just not in place), to switch on’er’, concentrate, get each ball, catch each opportunity, cut the runs right down and slowly turn the game in our direction. Ian Marshall put Faiz over the boundary second ball after tea, and fourth ball taking 13 off the first over post scones. Time for Plan B – can someone please find a Plan B – is there a Plan B in the house – to use a Dreggs line Carrrrnn Plan B! Slasher slashed away at the other end, and the score continued to scoot along – Plan C perhaps! News trickled in on the wires from the other front that B2 grade were already sucking the celebratory schoo and the pressure was turned right up on C Grade for dual Pigs premierships. C’mon lads, one more wicket. Then Faizy took Ian Marshall caught in the deep by M Tenney and at 3 for 165, the Pigs had finally secured their 3 wickets, possibly, 2, 3 or 140 runs too late.

The B2 boys and girls arrived and the crowd swelled to a pulsating level as it pulsated pulsatingly. The wanderers supporters piped up and the game was now on. The pointy end of the Wanderers batting line up was gone. Could the big fatty end bit get them through. Liam McCusker was brought back on for his second spell and last spell in Pigs colours and commenced swinging the ball and game around. Firstly by taking two in two balls including the dangerous Cottee for a smolden golden and narrowly missing the hattrick and notable pressure cooker catch to Wardy at gully. Faizy toiled from the other end and picked up Slasher, having a slash, clean bowled. The crowd went crazy. Pigs had drawn level - anyones game – Wanderers had wickets, Pigs had runs. Captain Kent came in and slogged and moved the score along quickly again with a mixture of late cuts and cross bat slogs. Wanderers back in front. Then Liam took a caught and bowled that nearly killed him, but it did not, and may well have killed off the Wanderers. Kent headed back to the pavilion wishing he had played a shot to gully. Pigs nose ahead. Only 3 wickets required, 50 odd runs needed, then a run out by Pete Williams, and another clean bowled from Liam and then the Pigs cruised home, on the back of top bowling from Faiz and Liam (both deserved their 4 wickets), concentration in the field and a huge crowd and the safe hands of Matty Palmer to seal the deal.

What better way to celebrate than with the whole club and supporters which we did. Well done Wanderers, we were a lot more confident at the beginning of the day than we were at tea which was brought about by excellent batting. Huge season for C Grade, with Faizy taking 67 wickets, Dowdy and Matt Tenney averaging above 50, and Jeffrey hitting three 50s hitting three fifties in the season and match winning performances throughout the season from each player such as Liam’s 4 wickets in the final, Matty J holding up an end v Kirribilli to give us a chance to win, tight bowling by Piersey v Macquarie Uni, Wardy stepping up to opener and of course THAT 6, Palmer opening both bowling and batting, Pete Williams, to make us laugh and our top offy and our number 3 ship steadier, when required, and Clear’s bowling v Norths Leagues to sneak us over the line, with special mention to our 12thies, Justin and Ryan in their debut cricket season, ever. Pigs C grade sign off for another year, its most successful and look forward to six months of reminiscing about that great game and just how friggin good we are.

[by M C Paddy]
The Pigs end of season celebrations on Friday evening were marred by a thunder storm that quite literally knocked ones socks off and put in jeopardy the semi final on the following day. However, upon arrival at Primrose to face Norths, the players were greeted with a relatively dry ground save for a puddle or two. Given the lack of cricket this year, we would have played in a swimming pool if we had to, which, incidentally, would have had a faster outfield.

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[written by M. Clear]
Pigs C grade's first venture of the season to the Tunks short boundaries was in the last game of the regular season versus the billies of Kirri. With the only overall result in the balance being whether Pigs or Norths Leagues would finish 2nd or 3rd, there was very little to play for and the relaxed attitude of the Pigs was evident prior to the start of play. Dowdy lost the toss and KC elected to bat which Pigs hoped meant a reasonable total and something to get our teeth into later in the day.

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